Friendship is the only cement that will ever hold the world together. – Woodrow T. Wilson
To me, being friends and being single on Valentine’s Day isn’t a bad thing. I find out more about people through friendly exchanges or friendships than I ever would otherwise.
Knowing people takes time. We have quirks. We have stress. We are anxious, busy, tired, and sometimes downright depressed. That’s a lot to spring on a person in a relationship after the “honeymoon” is over, which is usually when people start to sense they aren’t with who they thought they were. This ends up becoming a pseudo-happiness not founded in friendship and love.
But with friendship, everybody gets to check each other out, see what matches up and what doesn’t, before hearts get broken. It’s slower, but it’s way kinder than the way most social expectations work and the ways they make us interact with each other, many times unethically.
And if you do your friendships right, you’ll always gain a friend into your life, even if not romantic. And after awhile, that holds so much more weight in a heart than flighty escapades with people you don’t know that well and they don’t know you that well. Those kinds of interactions that make for feeling empty inside because no one knows you at all. We all have to risk a little to be friends!
So this Valentine’s Day, and like many in my past, I make it my own and I make it about Friendship. Capitalism will make you feel like shit for being single, and for some it makes them feel like shit for being in a relationship, but it’s a lie. You’re an amazing person. Get out there and make another person feel amazing just by saying Hi with a big fat smile and recognizing them. Find one person to uplift and encourage today and you’ll know the essence of Love and Friendship (giving through your pain – giving to others what you wish you had) which is a great segue into what kind of romantic relationship you want anyway right?
And if you’re in a relationship, keep the love alive through Friendship!
Happy Valentine’s Day!
“When we look at nature and decide it’s beauty, we decide this based on how untouched it is by pollution. It is the same way with your soul. Strive to be a better person by being yourself and let go of the superficial perspective. Beauty is the purity of which you refine and define your soul.”
Inspiration to contemplate on your personal journey.
People are flocking to personal development and spiritual modalities like crazy these days. Or they might be at church, mass, or temple enjoying various religions of their choosing, or for some, not their choosing.
But the point is, we are all trying to become better people. If you really want to test yourself and see if you’re on track with your development, consider contemplating these five points below. Chew on them for a while before immediately rejecting them and just see what you think. Turn them towards someone who you wish would apologize and ask yourself if this isn’t what you’d want from them.
Then see yourself doing the same for others. If you have trouble forgiving people, then you can use this information to help you visualize how it would feel to have someone forgive you for something you’ve done. Then, when you’re comfortable with that, you can change the visualization and see yourself forgiving someone who’s harmed you.
Try to give them the same feelings that you got from the person that forgave you. If you’re feeling fear or stagnation in your life, or depression and sadness, these exercises will help you become free from what others think. We often trap ourselves with what others think, their judgement and opinions and it causes us to feel unworthy, insecure, and isolated in our culture. But you can change that now, no matter what you believe. And if you can’t physically apologize to people, just practice in your head. It will be effective in taking you to the next step in your journey.
- When you can genuinely apologize to someone without needing them to respond back to you, then you no longer care what they think.
- When you can admit your wrongs about yourself, without excusing yourself with blame on something or someone else, then you no longer care what others think.
- When you apologize to someone for the sake of peace, and not for the emotional or physical comfort people bring you, then you no longer care what others think.
- When you can apologize without explaining or reasoning your actions to that other person, but simply use your mistakes to better yourself next time, then you no longer care what others think.
- When you can truly apologize and forgive someone as an act of giving, with no expectations, than you no longer care what others think.
It would be tough being this type of person with all people and at all times, but just aiming yourself in the right direction will be enough to get you on track. When you live your life unconditionally loving others in this way, it frees you up from what others think of you – their judgements and opinions, good or bad. The spiritual meaning it brings is profound. It’s up to you to find that in your own journey, but you will. We all know the right thing to do, and we all talk about these right things to do, but it’s really tough to walk that talk, which is where we all need to ramp-up to for significant changes in our social and environmental efforts. If we want a better world, we have to be better people.
Love and Peace
A reply to Milky Way Meets Indonesian Volcanoes:
A wish for Humanity
My heart soars with your beauty,
Everyday my eyes astonished.
What could create this beauty?
It leaves me speechless.
By the vastness of Love.
No person untouched
Or forgotten in this world.
I reach out to you in words,
You to me in energy.
My heart dances with the waves
Of ever-moving love.
Sweeping the earth
Transcending us all,
No one falls,
Let no one fall.
I’ve suffered from lower back pain for over a month now. Prior to my back pain, I thought I’d be smart and buy a rebounder (mini trampoline) to get my exercise. It was great while I used it for my two-minute workout when I caught myself sitting at my desk too much.
But, as life would have it, I got a little too zealous one day and went crazy “pushing” myself to do jumping jacks and other crazy stuff to music that’d make a person on crack freak out. Okay, I’m joking. But what ended up happening with my over-achieving workout ethic is that I pinched my sciatica in my lower back. I’ve been miserable ever since, watching my rebounder become a junk collector of my stuff.
Since I couldn’t do more than stretch and walk I was sad. I am really determined to get my body back in shape for this next summer. But I learned a couple of valuable lessons with this pain in my back. I first learned how important core strength is to any workout routine. Not only that, but I learned how essential core muscle strength is to my posture and breathing. They are all connected, you know. If you have good breathing skills, your anxiety is lower. If you have good core muscles, your posture is better, which means your breathing is deeper.
But I also realized, that was only half the battle.
Since birth, I’ve been docile. A piece of string entertained me for up to 20 minutes at a time at an age where most babies don’t have a long attention span. My characteristics were oddly similar to children with autism. My mom said that the other two kids were always into everything like normal children do. But I was quiet, self-entertained, and didn’t need much to keep me happy.
This led me into being the kid that sat around reading, drawing and listening to music for hours. I liked to go out and play with my friends too, but I was not what you would normally describe as an active child.
So naturally I chose activities throughout my life that kept me sitting around a lot. As I grew older that led into bad eating habits and more sitting around. And for many years of my life, I sat at a desk 8-9 hours a day. The point is, although I love certain recreational activities, I’m not naturally the type to run to the gym daily.
The second lesson I learned is that I have to retrain my brain to think about activities that get me moving. So I wrote out a list of positive affirmations that had to do with exercise and being active, while my back constantly reminded me that it was not participating no matter what I did. Even rolling out of bed was painful!
But I’m serious and know that I am in control of my life, my brain and my back. And with gentle persuasion, I will exercise. I will! Healthy, active, and vibrant are what descriptions I want about myself now. And although I’ve always been a sedentary type of person, I feel way better when I am moving and my body feels like a slick machine.
I did this Yoga video today. Since I can’t afford a chiropractor, I take my health into my own hands. Actually, I really believe this is better than a chiropractor because it addresses the issues of the body at a root level, not just fixing the pain. No band-aids for me and I always look for solutions that solve more than one problem in my life (and the world) so I don’t have to work as hard.
At the end of this video, I felt awesome! I laughed until tears streamed out of my eyes. That is what you call a spiritual detox of relief and joy.
If you need more reasons to support your transformation into a healthy, happy body, consider these thoughts.
You reduce your carbon footprint by not using an expensive gym that uses excessive amounts of water and electricity.
Less travel time equals more gas for other trips, less carbon footprint from travel, and more time to spend at home with your family.
Other family members can work out with you and it doesn’t cost more money.
Family time is one of the top contributors to social change.
You lead your family by example and influence, especially powerful for kids.
You can pick a different coach everyday, as well as a different workout.
You can cook dinner or do laundry or other activities in between your routines.
These are just a few reasons to help motivate you to start working out and find solutions that turn your life into Humane living. I’m sure you can find more and use them in your daily positive affirmations.
If you’re not ready to make these kinds of changes, consider just doing the daily affirmations and visualize yourself participating in activities and exercise that you enjoy. After roughly 21 days, your brain will naturally start to give you more reasons, ideas, and clues to follow that will lead you to a more active lifestyle.
Good luck to you and your health.
Love and Peace.
- 10 Reasons to Stop Making Excuses & Just Do Yoga. ~ Giulia Pecone (elephantjournal.com)
- Detoxify Yourself: 101 Tips to Remove the Poison from Your Body and Your Life (mytechnologyworld9.blogspot.com)
- Watch: Doggie Yoga: New Exercise That Involves Your Pets (abcnews.go.com)
- A Workout for Your Attitude: Make It Positive (babyzone.com)
- Walking, Stretching, and Earthing (psychologytoday.com)
I just logged into my Facebook and found a post from one of my friends. He’s frustrated with all the crazy news stories in the media about the problems in our world.
He wants to know where all the good stories are from those of us that care and are doing something to make this world a better place.
I couldn’t agree more. And neither could his Facebook followers!
What a great blog post, I thought. And so here it is.
What am I doing to make the world a better place?
I want to eat better. I want to behave better. I want to consistently push myself more and more in everything I do. I want to give to humanity and the environment in sustainable ways, even if that just means doing my best in my own little world.
I’ve researched for many years now the effects my diet has on my health, my state of mind, the power of my soul, my finances, and basically my life. But the even better part that I learned is that the better I behave, the less I spend, the less I consume, and the less I pollute. This is a daily task.
My life, inadvertently becomes an example to others. This never really meant much to me until I experienced it with my teenager.
I realized I can talk her all day if I want, but what I do is what she subconsciously picks up on. If I want to know how well I am parenting, all I have to do is see her reactions to me and the life I’m trying to offer her.
I see more changes in her when I just behave the way I want her to behave.
What does this have to do with the state of the world and the environment?
There is a beauty in action and body language. In truth, we are all like my teenager. We watch what everyone else is doing, subconsciously picking it up, and then behave like-wise for acceptance, love and worthiness in the eyes of others.
And this would be great, if the state of our world wasn’t in such place that it is now. We have to reverse these problems through compassionate actions. We have to consciously change our behavior and match it up to what we want to see happen, not go around telling others what needs to happen.
We have to do it.
It takes courage to live this sort of life. We have so many excuses as to why it is easier not to change, or to wait around for the next person to stand up and do it. However, this is not a meaningful life. A meaningful life is changing ourselves first, to match up with our visions of world peace.
This friend of mine on Facebook left a quote from Mother Teresa under his first post:
We ourselves feel that what we are doing is just a drop in the ocean. But the ocean would be less because of that missing drop.
Its true. We feel that the little things we are contributing aren’t enough, but Mother Teresa knew that all the small actions amount to a lot more when we consistently engage in those actions daily. Its putting a penny in the spiritual bank.
One of us alone can’t make the world peaceful nor heal the environment, but all of us taking small steps together create an ocean of action. Everything you do, day in and day out, contributes to this ocean we all live in. Are you creating a life of peace and compassion? Are you consciously improving your behavior in empowering ways?
It’s a tough road, but we are all in this together
I support whatever efforts you are putting forth, even if some days you feel like you’re taking two steps backwards. It feels like that often to me too. This is all the more reason we should work together on supporting each other.
But I’ve learned with my daughter that it is possible even when it seems dark and hopeless like the news makes us feel. Today, I talked to her about her own self-esteem. I told her that it would affect every part of her life and how very important it is. I had her sit down and watch a YouTube video about self-esteem. I told her what I wanted for her life. I want her to have good relationships with her friends, and to pursue her passions, and to take responsibility for her actions.
The best part about it is, even though she’d rather be off texting her friends and listening to music, my messages to her always come back to me later. She will tell me how she helped her friends by giving them good advice. When she repeats the advice, I hear my message come back to me from her perspective. I smile to myself when I hear these things because when I said it to her, I thought I had no effect on her.
Last week, she told me one of her school friends wanted to commit suicide. She talked to him and helped him out with these thoughts. He came by our home later to thank her. After he left, she told me that if it hadn’t been for her, he would’ve committed suicide. This is not the first friend she helped.
Is my parenting working? Some would look at our life from the outside and beg to differ. But I know I am teaching my daughter very valuable lessons about life, connections, and how to behave in a crazy world. I know the power of small steps and small conversations, what others would equate to as “not enough” for what is going on in this world.
But I agree with Mother Teresa. The power of who we are, how we behave, and what our actions stand for are far more reaching than we could ever imagine.
One drop at a time
I know in my heart we are all doing things like this to help each other. We just lose these moments in the busyness of our day. We forget what power we are giving to each other and what words are helping others. Some of us lack self-esteem and it makes it hard to internalize that we are the difference!
Now its your turn. Tell me something you’ve done today, or that somebody did for you, to make the world a better place. I know you are putting more good into this world than you probably give yourself credit for. I’d really like to hear about you. I’d also like you to share this blog with others that you know are not giving themselves enough credit for the good they put into this world.
Let’s bring our focus together on this subject by sharing our stories of how we’re helping each other just a little at a time. Just one drop in the ocean at a time. We never know who are encouraging.
Before you go to sleep tonight, look in the mirror while you’re brushing your teeth and remind yourself who you are. Tell yourself you are the difference. When you are positive with yourself, you will eventually become naturally positive with others.
Updated Feb. 23rd, 2013: Here is another article from Zoe Weil on this subject on her blog Humane Connection.
Love and Peace
- Generosity Is The Cure For Fear, Doubt, And Lack Of Faith (roxcell.wordpress.com)