To me, being friends and being single on Valentine’s Day isn’t a bad thing. I find out more about people through friendly exchanges or friendships than I ever would otherwise.
Knowing people takes time. We have quirks. We have stress. We are anxious, busy, tired, and sometimes downright depressed. That’s a lot to spring on a person in a relationship after the “honeymoon” is over, which is usually when people start to sense they aren’t with who they thought they were. This ends up becoming a pseudo-happiness not founded in friendship and love.
But with friendship, everybody gets to check each other out, see what matches up and what doesn’t, before hearts get broken. It’s slower, but it’s way kinder than the way most social expectations work and the ways they make us interact with each other, many times unethically.
And if you do your friendships right, you’ll always gain a friend into your life, even if not romantic. And after awhile, that holds so much more weight in a heart than flighty escapades with people you don’t know that well and they don’t know you that well. Those kinds of interactions that make for feeling empty inside because no one knows you at all. We all have to risk a little to be friends!
So this Valentine’s Day, and like many in my past, I make it my own and I make it about Friendship. Capitalism will make you feel like shit for being single, and for some it makes them feel like shit for being in a relationship, but it’s a lie. You’re an amazing person. Get out there and make another person feel amazing just by saying Hi with a big fat smile and recognizing them. Find one person to uplift and encourage today and you’ll know the essence of Love and Friendship (giving through your pain – giving to others what you wish you had) which is a great segue into what kind of romantic relationship you want anyway right?
And if you’re in a relationship, keep the love alive through Friendship!
I’ve suffered from lower back pain for over a month now. Prior to my back pain, I thought I’d be smart and buy a rebounder (mini trampoline) to get my exercise. It was great while I used it for my two-minute workout when I caught myself sitting at my desk too much.
But, as life would have it, I got a little too zealous one day and went crazy “pushing” myself to do jumping jacks and other crazy stuff to music that’d make a person on crack freak out. Okay, I’m joking. But what ended up happening with my over-achieving workout ethic is that I pinched my sciatica in my lower back. I’ve been miserable ever since, watching my rebounder become a junk collector of my stuff.
Since I couldn’t do more than stretch and walk I was sad. I am really determined to get my body back in shape for this next summer. But I learned a couple of valuable lessons with this pain in my back. I first learned how important core strength is to any workout routine. Not only that, but I learned how essential core muscle strength is to my posture and breathing. They are all connected, you know. If you have good breathing skills, your anxiety is lower. If you have good core muscles, your posture is better, which means your breathing is deeper.
But I also realized, that was only half the battle.
Since birth, I’ve been docile. A piece of string entertained me for up to 20 minutes at a time at an age where most babies don’t have a long attention span. My characteristics were oddly similar to children with autism. My mom said that the other two kids were always into everything like normal children do. But I was quiet, self-entertained, and didn’t need much to keep me happy.
This led me into being the kid that sat around reading, drawing and listening to music for hours. I liked to go out and play with my friends too, but I was not what you would normally describe as an active child.
So naturally I chose activities throughout my life that kept me sitting around a lot. As I grew older that led into bad eating habits and more sitting around. And for many years of my life, I sat at a desk 8-9 hours a day. The point is, although I love certain recreational activities, I’m not naturally the type to run to the gym daily.
The second lesson I learned is that I have to retrain my brain to think about activities that get me moving. So I wrote out a list of positive affirmations that had to do with exercise and being active, while my back constantly reminded me that it was not participating no matter what I did. Even rolling out of bed was painful!
But I’m serious and know that I am in control of my life, my brain and my back. And with gentle persuasion, I will exercise. I will! Healthy, active, and vibrant are what descriptions I want about myself now. And although I’ve always been a sedentary type of person, I feel way better when I am moving and my body feels like a slick machine.
I did this Yoga video today. Since I can’t afford a chiropractor, I take my health into my own hands. Actually, I really believe this is better than a chiropractor because it addresses the issues of the body at a root level, not just fixing the pain. No band-aids for me and I always look for solutions that solve more than one problem in my life (and the world) so I don’t have to work as hard.
At the end of this video, I felt awesome! I laughed until tears streamed out of my eyes. That is what you call a spiritual detox of relief and joy.
If you need more reasons to support your transformation into a healthy, happy body, consider these thoughts.
You reduce your carbon footprint by not using an expensive gym that uses excessive amounts of water and electricity.
Less travel time equals more gas for other trips, less carbon footprint from travel, and more time to spend at home with your family.
Other family members can work out with you and it doesn’t cost more money.
Family time is one of the top contributors to social change.
You lead your family by example and influence, especially powerful for kids.
You can pick a different coach everyday, as well as a different workout.
You can cook dinner or do laundry or other activities in between your routines.
These are just a few reasons to help motivate you to start working out and find solutions that turn your life into Humane living. I’m sure you can find more and use them in your daily positive affirmations.
If you’re not ready to make these kinds of changes, consider just doing the daily affirmations and visualize yourself participating in activities and exercise that you enjoy. After roughly 21 days, your brain will naturally start to give you more reasons, ideas, and clues to follow that will lead you to a more active lifestyle.