Tag Archives: equality

Valentine’s Day Without Capitalistic Values

To me, being friends and being single on Valentine’s Day isn’t a bad thing. I find out more about people through friendly exchanges or friendships than I ever would otherwise.

Knowing people takes time. We have quirks. We have stress. We are anxious, busy, tired, and sometimes downright depressed. That’s a lot to spring on a person in a relationship after the “honeymoon” is over, which is usually when people start to sense they aren’t with who they thought they were. This ends up becoming a pseudo-happiness not founded in friendship and love.

But with friendship, everybody gets to check each other out, see what matches up and what doesn’t, before hearts get broken. It’s slower, but it’s way kinder than the way most social expectations work and the ways they make us interact with each other, many times unethically.

And if you do your friendships right, you’ll always gain a friend into your life, even if not romantic. And after awhile, that holds so much more weight in a heart than flighty escapades with people you don’t know that well and they don’t know you that well. Those kinds of interactions that make for feeling empty inside because no one knows you at all. We all have to risk a little to be friends!

So this Valentine’s Day, and like many in my past, I make it my own and I make it about Friendship. Capitalism will make you feel like shit for being single, and for some it makes them feel like shit for being in a relationship, but it’s a lie. You’re an amazing person. Get out there and make another person feel amazing just by saying Hi with a big fat smile and recognizing them. Find one person to uplift and encourage today and you’ll know the essence of Love and Friendship (giving through your pain – giving to others what you wish you had) which is a great segue into what kind of romantic relationship you want anyway right?

And if you’re in a relationship, keep the love alive through Friendship!

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Are You Free From What Others Think?

English: Broken heart sewn back together
English: Broken heart sewn back together (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

People are flocking to personal development and spiritual modalities like crazy these days.  Or they might be at church, mass, or temple enjoying various religions of their choosing, or for some, not their choosing.

But the point is, we are all trying to become better people.  If you really want to test yourself and see if you’re on track with your development, consider contemplating these five points below.  Chew on them for a while before immediately rejecting them and just see what you think.  Turn them towards someone who you wish would apologize and ask yourself if this isn’t what you’d want from them.

Then see yourself doing the same for others.  If you have trouble forgiving people, then you can use this information to help you visualize how it would feel to have someone forgive you for something you’ve done.  Then, when you’re comfortable with that, you can change the visualization and see yourself forgiving someone who’s harmed you.

Try to give them the same feelings that you got from the person that forgave you.  If you’re feeling fear or stagnation in your life, or depression and sadness, these exercises will help you become free from what others think.  We often trap ourselves with what others think, their judgement and opinions and it causes us to feel unworthy, insecure, and isolated in our culture.  But you can change that now, no matter what you believe.  And if you can’t physically apologize to people, just practice in your head.  It will be effective in taking you to the next step in your journey.

  1. When you can genuinely apologize to someone without needing them to respond back to you, then you no longer care what they think.
  2. When you can admit your wrongs about yourself, without excusing yourself with blame on something or someone else, then you no longer care what others think.
  3. When you apologize to someone for the sake of peace, and not for the emotional or physical comfort people bring you, then you no longer care what others think.
  4. When you can apologize without explaining or reasoning your actions to that other person, but simply use your mistakes to better yourself next time, then you no longer care what others think.
  5. When you can truly apologize and forgive someone as an act of giving, with no expectations, than you no longer care what others think.

It would be tough being this type of person with all people and at all times, but just aiming yourself in the right direction will be enough to get you on track.  When you live your life unconditionally loving others in this way, it frees you up from what others think of you – their judgements and opinions, good or bad.  The spiritual meaning it brings is profound.  It’s up to you to find that in your own journey, but you will.  We all know the right thing to do, and we all talk about these right things to do, but it’s really tough to walk that talk, which is where we all need to ramp-up to for significant changes in our social and environmental efforts.  If we want a better world, we have to be  better people.

Love and Peace